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~ By Courtesy of Others ~

Old Norse Is Insane              "A Horse With No Name" Midi (ext. link)
Parody of "A Horse With No Name" based on the perfomance by America

(Based on a true story: I took an Old Norse language class at my university 
several years ago, in which *all* the students failed grammar quizzes
for several consecutive weeks. That's when the professor realized 
just how badly written our textbooks were...)

On my first quiz that semester,
Couldn't get it, to save my life:
There were fancy words with accent marks;
There were endings, rules and things.
The first lines I read left my mind all abuzz;
Couldn't try to think out loud.
My brain was shot and my mouth was dry--
Didn't dare to make a sound.

I said: "Hey, professor, this Old Norse is insane;
It's no good wearing out from the strain."
The professor, he thinks the book is to blame,
'Cause there ain't no one who can pass--what a shame!

Huh? Huh?
Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh?
Huh-huh-huh?
Huhhhh-huh?

On the next quiz, I saw ev'ryone
with papers marked up in red.
On the third quiz, I heard ev'ryone--
class was wishing they'd all stayed in bed.
From the stories we'd tell,
learning grammar was hell--
It's too bad the language was dead!

So we all said, "Hey, professor, this Old Norse is insane;
It's no good, wearing out from the strain.
With some effort, we might remember a phrase,
But it ain't no fun when we're lost in a haze!"

Huh? Huh?
Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh?
Huh-huh-huh?
Huhhhh-huh?

[instrumental break]

After nine weeks into the course, we'd see
what a mess all those words could be:
lots of fancy words with accent marks,
lots of endings, rules and things.
Can't you show us, professor--are we right with the sounds
in those verbs that you write above?
We're feeling sh**ty 'bout our grades going down
in a course that we thought we'd love.

That's why we said: "Hey, professor, this Old Norse is insane;
It's no good, wearing out from the strain."
The professor, he thinks the book is to blame,
'Cause there ain't no one who can pass--what a shame!

Huh? Huh?
Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh?
Huh-huh-huh?
Huhhhh-huh?

[repeat and fade]

© Ingeborg S. Nordén

Ingeborg´s Norse Heathen Pages       Mirror Site on OoCities.com

Image: "Reading an Old Norse text in the classroom" by Pĺl Berge.
Creative Commons Attribution icon This photo is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License.

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