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To Be Christian or Not to be Christian?
"Our God Does That Too!"
Preacher: Our God is one, and yet has three aspects.s
Viking: You don't say? funny, our god Ošin comes in three forms too,
Ošin, Villi and Ve.
Sometimes they're brothers and sometimes they're one person.
Preacher: Ah, but our God made a great sacrifice for us.
Viking: Yeah?
Preacher: He was crucified...
Viking: ???
Preacher: Hung on a cross - the tree of redemption. He even suffered the indignity of a spear thrust though his side.
Viking: Strange you should say that. Ošin hanged himself on a tree with a spear in his side.
Preacher: Yeah? Well, I bet he didn't come back to life again.
Viking: Of course he did. Why would we call him a god if he were dead?
Preacher: I can see I'm not getting through here. Let me tell you what will happen in the last days of earth. A horn will sound...
Viking: It's not called Gjallarhorn, is it?
Preacher: I hadn't finished. A horn will sound and the Lord of Hosts will lead multitudes against the hordes of Hell
who are released to join battle.
Viking: I know that. And they'll all die...
Preacher: Hah! But not us! The elect will survive and a new world will arise where we will live in peace for ever.
Viking: I hadn't finished either. That new world will be called Gimli and men and gods shall live in peace.
Preacher: [sigh] Not if you're not a Christian, you won't. The unrighteous will burn in everlasting Hell.
The righteous shall sit with God and sing hymns of splendour.
Viking: They'll be lucky. Christians are not allowed to fight. If they're not allowed to fight they won't be getting very far.
Preacher: Fight? We are allowed to fight. If it is a just cause we must fight.
Viking: Just cause, eh? Hmm...
Preacher: [getting carried away] Of course! With the armour of righteousness, and the breastplate of ....
Viking: Whoa, whoa, stop! What's that? Do all Christians get them?
Preacher: Of course. We are assured so by St. Paul. They are the rightful inheritance of all true followers of Christ.
Viking: Do they protect against these new winged spears? Nasty things they are. And my armour's getting a bit worn.
Preacher [expansively]: They protect against everything!
Viking [waking up]: They do? Where do I sign?
© Telsa "Hobbit" Gwynne 1994
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