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~ By Courtesy of Others ~

R.T.F.E. (Read The Freakin' Eddas)
A parody to the tune of  "YMCA" by the Village People

I said, young man, so you've heard about Thor?
I said, young man, so you wanna know more?
I said, young man, better check with the lore
There's no need to trust the comics

Young man, there's a book you should know
I said, young man, better save up your dough
Don't know Old Norse?  Well, I won't say you should--
A translation still does some good.

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
Heathen people like us
Have a whole lot to learn,
But those New Age books make me burn!

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
Don't believe what you saw
In that ol' Book of Runes--
That stuff's just for tree-hugging loons!

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, there's a book you should see
I said, young man, if you're Heathen for real
So you've got to start it sometime.

Young man, take a look for yourself
I said, somewhere it's out there on the shelf
So just grab one, buy your copy today--
I can help you study, OK?

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
Heathen people like us
Have a whole lot to learn,
But those New Age books make me burn!

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
Don't believe what you heard
Silver Ravenwolf wrote
You'll feel like a big fool at blots!

Young man, I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was feeling mighty confused
I felt no one thought our gods were alive
I was sure, runes were New Age jive

That's when someone came up to me
and said, young man, here's a book you should see
It's all in here--going straight to the source
is the way to keep your faith Norse!

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
Heathen people like us
Have a whole lot to learn,
But those New Age books make me burn!

It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
It's clear to me, you should R.T.F.E.
So much B.S. about Odin and Thor
In New Age books, that's not in the lore!

R.T.F.E.
Go on, grab the book-R.T.F.E.
Young man, when you need to learn about Thor
which will you trust:  Ralph Blum--or the lore?

R.T.F.E.
You'll learn it if you R.T.F.E.
Young man, young man, take a look for yourself
Young man, get out, buy it fresh off the shelf

R.T.F.E.
Just open it--R.T.F.E.
Young man, young man, I was once in your shoes
Young man, I was feeling mighty confused

R.T.F.E.
R.T.F.E.
R.T.F.E.
R.T.F.E.

Parody changes © 2001-05 Ingeborg S. Nordén

Ingeborg´s Norse Heathen Pages       Mirror Site on OoCities.com

Image: Page from the Codex Regius, "Baldrs Draumar"

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